# Dating in Your 20s

> Straight answers about dating in your twenties. No hacks, no rules, no pretending you didn't reread the text nine times.

Dating in Your 20s is for people figuring out apps, texting, situationships and what they actually want, usually all at once.
Every article is sourced and checked. We don't do hacks or scripts. We do patterns: the thing you keep doing, and why.
Part of the BUMIS network. General information, not therapy.

Publisher: BUMIS (https://getbumis.com). BUMIS: Your Dating Mirror, a private app for seeing your own dating patterns.
Every article lists its sources, author, publish date and last-updated date. General information, not therapy or professional advice.

## Articles

- [Is it a situationship or a relationship?](https://datinginyour20s.com/situationships/situationship-or-relationship/): If you can't say what you are, what you want, or where it's going, it's a situationship. The fix is usually a conversation, not more decoding. (Situationships, updated 2026-10-01)

## By the numbers

- 53% of adults ages 18 to 29 have ever used a dating site or app. Source: Pew Research Center, The who, where and why of online dating in the U.S. (2023; 6,034 U.S. adults, July 2022): https://www.pewresearch.org/internet/2023/02/02/the-who-where-and-why-of-online-dating-in-the-u-s/
- 67% of Gen Z singles have used AI in their dating lives. Source: Kinsey Institute and Match, Singles in America, 15th annual Singles in America study (2026; About 5,000 U.S. singles): https://mtch.com/news/match-unveils-15th-annual-singles-in-america-study/
- 78% of recent dating app users have felt burned out by the apps at least sometimes. Source: Forbes Health and OnePoll, reported by Deseret News, Dating app burnout survey (2024; 1,000 U.S. adults who used a dating app in the past year): https://www.deseret.com/lifestyle/2024/09/04/dating-app-burnout/
- 1 in 3 unmarried adults ages 22 to 35 are actively dating. Source: Wheatley Institute and Institute for Family Studies, The Dating Recession (State of Our Unions 2026) (2026; 5,275 unmarried U.S. adults ages 22 to 35): https://wheatley.byu.edu/0000019c-4505-d61f-a3dc-dd478a270001/datingrecession-pdf

## Further reading (other publishers)

Hand-picked outside sources we point readers to. Linked, not copied.

- [The who, where and why of online dating in the U.S.](https://www.pewresearch.org/internet/2023/02/02/the-who-where-and-why-of-online-dating-in-the-u-s/): Pew Research Center, 2023. Survey numbers on who uses dating apps, which ones, and why, with a close look at adults under 30.
- [The art of breaking up, from 'the talk' to moving on](https://www.npr.org/2020/12/28/950821286/the-art-of-breaking-up-from-the-talk-to-moving-on): NPR (Life Kit), 2020. Practical guidance on ending things kindly and on what helps in the weeks after.
- [Our quest for romance through dating apps is only making us lonelier, studies find](https://www.npr.org/2024/09/02/nx-s1-5081335/our-quest-for-romance-through-dating-apps-is-only-making-us-lonlier-studies-find): NPR, 2024. Reports on studies linking heavy app use to loneliness, useful if swiping has started to feel worse than not dating.
- [Texting etiquette: Why it's OK not to reply right away](https://www.npr.org/2025/04/21/nx-s1-5349521/texting-etiquette-manage-group-texts-frequent-texts): NPR, 2025. A calmer take on reply times that helps you stop reading meaning into every delay.
- [What Is Breadcrumbing? How To Handle It](https://health.clevelandclinic.org/breadcrumbing): Cleveland Clinic. Names the pattern of just-enough attention that keeps you hooked, and how to respond to it.
- [Should you be friends with your ex? 3 questions to ask yourself](https://www.npr.org/2024/05/31/g-s1-1851/should-you-stay-friends-with-your-ex): NPR, 2024. Three honest questions to sort out whether a friendship with an ex will help you or keep you stuck.
- [The full list, by topic](https://datinginyour20s.com/reading/)

## Tools

- [8-question dating pattern check](https://datinginyour20s.com/quiz/): runs in the browser, stores nothing, returns one of 9 public pattern cards.
- [Full Speed](https://datinginyour20s.com/quiz/full-speed/): You feel it early and you let yourself run with it.
- [Slow Burn](https://datinginyour20s.com/quiz/slow-burn/): You wait until you are sure, and you are rarely sure early.
- [Clear Sky](https://datinginyour20s.com/quiz/clear-sky/): Not knowing where you stand is the hardest part for you.
- [Open Ended](https://datinginyour20s.com/quiz/open-ended/): You are comfortable letting things stay undefined.
- [Home Pull](https://datinginyour20s.com/quiz/home-pull/): You are drawn to a feeling you already know.
- [New Horizon](https://datinginyour20s.com/quiz/new-horizon/): You go looking for something different each time.
- [Long Goodbye](https://datinginyour20s.com/quiz/long-goodbye/): You stay past the point where it stopped working.
- [Clean Break](https://datinginyour20s.com/quiz/clean-break/): When it is over, you are gone.
- [Even Keel](https://datinginyour20s.com/quiz/even-keel/): No single lean stands out in your answers.

## Experts

- Alexandra H. Solomon (Credentialed source): Relational self awareness, dating and building lasting relationships, drawn from her couples work and her Northwestern course. Licensed clinical psychologist; adjunct professor, School of Education and Social Policy, Northwestern University. Profiles: Instagram @dr.alexandra.solomon (https://www.instagram.com/dr.alexandra.solomon/). Last checked 2026-10-01.
- Justin J. Lehmiller (Credentialed source): Research on sex, desire, casual relationships and friends with benefits. Social psychologist (PhD, Purdue); Senior Research Fellow, The Kinsey Institute, Indiana University. Profiles: Instagram @justinjlehmiller (https://www.instagram.com/justinjlehmiller/); X @JustinLehmiller (https://x.com/JustinLehmiller). Last checked 2026-10-01.
- Nedra Glover Tawwab (Credentialed source, Trending voice): Boundaries in relationships, family and friendship, and how to say what you need. Licensed therapist; founder of Kaleidoscope Counseling. Profiles: Instagram @nedratawwab (https://www.instagram.com/nedratawwab/); TikTok @nedratawwab (https://www.tiktok.com/@nedratawwab). Last checked 2026-10-01.
- Ramani Durvasula (Credentialed source, Trending voice): Narcissistic and high conflict relationships, and recovering after leaving one. Licensed clinical psychologist; Professor Emerita of Psychology, California State University, Los Angeles. Profiles: Instagram @doctorramani (https://www.instagram.com/doctorramani/); TikTok @doctorramani (https://www.tiktok.com/@doctorramani). Last checked 2026-10-01.
- Blaine Anderson (Trending voice): Dating coach for men who talks about dating app profiles, first dates, and how women experience modern dating. Profiles: Instagram @datingbyblaine (https://www.instagram.com/datingbyblaine/); TikTok @datingbyblaine (https://www.tiktok.com/@datingbyblaine). Last checked 2026-10-01.
- Matthew Hussey (Trending voice): Dating and love life advice on raising your standards, confidence, and finding a partner, through his podcast, books and videos. Profiles: Instagram @thematthewhussey (https://www.instagram.com/thematthewhussey/); TikTok @thematthewhussey (https://www.tiktok.com/@thematthewhussey). Last checked 2026-10-01.
- Sabrina Zohar (Trending voice): Dating and relationship coach and podcast host who talks about anxious attachment, self-worth, and breaking repeating relationship patterns. Profiles: Instagram @sabrina.zohar (https://www.instagram.com/sabrina.zohar/); TikTok @sabrina.zohar (https://www.tiktok.com/@sabrina.zohar). Last checked 2026-10-01.
- Shan Boodram (Trending voice): Intimacy educator, author and podcast host who talks about dating, sex, desire, and building close relationships. Profiles: Instagram @shanboodram (https://www.instagram.com/shanboodram/); TikTok @shanboody (https://www.tiktok.com/@shanboody). Last checked 2026-10-01.
- [All experts and how we label them](https://datinginyour20s.com/experts/)

## About

- [All articles, newest first](https://datinginyour20s.com/articles/)
- [About Dating in Your 20s](https://datinginyour20s.com/about/)

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